Aging with Positivity
By: Heather Land
This week I celebrated my 40th birthday. Happy Birthday to me!! I still remember as a child thinking that 40 was extremely old and that people who are 40 are on the downhill slide and basically their lives are over. Haha.
As I face this BIG birthday, I have been able to step back and observe how people age in different ways. I’ve been researching the best and most healthy way to age, and I want to share my findings.
The two most common ways people face birthdays are:
- With fear, dread and anxiety about growing older.
- Embracing it with positivity and grace.
As I face this birthday, I decided I had to decide which way I was going to view it. My gut and natural way to want to lean was fear, dread and impending doom. (Insert evil, scary laugh) I started thinking about how I was closer to death and how things will only get worse from here on out. AGAIN, this is how my brain went without me trying to direct it. I’m not proud of it but that’s how anxiety works. Your brain, if left to its own devices, will lead you down a very scary and dark road.
So, I quickly decided I need to take control of my thoughts and direct them in a healthy way. I read lots of articles and found a couple of research studies about aging. The most informative one was a study done by Harvard about how aging with a positive attitude can have positive health benefits. Click here for the article.
They found “that people more satisfied with the aging process had lower risk for conditions such as diabetes, stroke, cancer, and heart disease; better cognitive functioning; were more likely to engage in physical activity and less likely to have trouble sleeping; were less lonely and depressed; and were more optimistic with a greater sense of purpose.”
Wow! Just the way you view and think about something can have amazing benefits. I’ve known this for a long time but never applied it to aging. I work with my clients on a daily basis with their thoughts and helping them have rational, realistic thoughts. Changing your thoughts can decrease anxiety and improve depressive symptoms. It can also improve self-esteem and motivation.
Now, I just needed to apply it to aging. So, I started a couple of months ago telling myself things like:
“I’m excited for my birthday.”
“I can’t wait to celebrate.”
“What an honor to turn 40 when there are countless others who have never had that privilege.”
“Thank you, God, for allowing me 40 years on this earth.”
“Now, people will respect me because my age demands respect. Haha”
Once I started doing this my whole view of aging started to change. My feelings and actions started to follow my thoughts. I stopped dreading it and started planning a celebration. I picked an activity that I would enjoy and invited my family to join me on my birthday. We planned an out-of-town trip to go snow tubing. My family quickly joined in on the fun and made me feel honored and special. I even bought myself a sash, tiara and a birthday shirt. If I’m going to be excited about something I don’t just want to tip my toe in the water, I want to plan a trip and buy a cute outfit!
Now, instead of dreading aging I am excited. Changing my thoughts first led to a change in feelings and then my actions quickly followed. So, here is my challenge to you…what is something in your life that is causing you anxiety, fear or dread? Work on changing your thoughts to something more realistic, positive and logical and watch how your feelings change and quickly your actions will follow.
I now view aging as a privilege, honor and rite of passage. I’m blessed with amazing friends, family and a God who walks alongside me through the ups and downs of life. I’m honored by the wrinkles, gray hairs and laugh lines. I’m looking forward to the goals I have set for the future and working towards accomplishing them.
