Finding Your Person
By, Sarah N.
We all know that feeling of longing— longing to truly connect with someone, to feel as if you’ve always known each other, to practically be able to read each other’s minds— longing to find your “person.”
If you are lucky enough to have a “person,” I’m sure they immediately came to mind while reading the previous paragraph. If you are still longing for your “person”, I’m sure some feelings of loneliness or perhaps sadness crept up. Maybe you even have a “person” but don’t know if they’re really your person or if maybe there’s someone better suited for you out there.
Watching friends who are obviously each other’s “people” can be uplifting (“I can find a friendship like that too!”). But it can also make that hole in our heart feel a little bit deeper (“Why don’t I have a ‘person?’ Is something wrong with me?”).
I hope what I am going to say next will give you some comfort and encouragement, whether you have a “person” or not.
There is no such thing as your “person.”
Okay, feeling better? …Perhaps I should expound.
Of course there will be people in your life that you will click with more than others. Many of your friendships will even be obviously orchestrated by God. But that does not make them your “person.”
Too often, we place our friends on pedestals because we think they are our “one true friend”. We place too much of our self worth, our beliefs, and our attention on our friends, thinking they are what completes us. We find our identity in them and even have trouble standing independently from them.
I know I have a hard time even making decisions without first consulting my “person” (or people- the whole squad, usually). “What would they do? What would they think if did x, y, or z? Do they have any other, better ideas?” While going to Godly friends for advice or direction is definitely NOT a bad thing, I need to ask myself if I’m directing my primary focus on the right person.
The only One who can truly be my “person” is Jesus.
He is the True and Better Friend. In the Gospel of John we read, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) Jesus did this and so much more for all of us, proving the priceless value of His friendship. Jesus is the only friend who can truly meet all of our needs.
Are we putting our expectations that should only be put on Christ, on our friends? What a burden! Let us free our friends, and free ourselves of this pressure that no one but Christ can withstand! We cannot let friendship, even “Godly” friendship, become an idol.
When my “people” and I make Jesus our “person,” it gives our friendship freedom to be vulnerable and to show forgiveness and grace. It allows us to carry each other’s burdens, not to solve them ourselves because we complete each other, but to lay them at the foot of the cross because Jesus has already completed us.
Furthermore, if you make Jesus your “person,” and your friend makes Jesus their “person,” you’ll both be able to find that earthly connection you’ve been longing for in a mutual pursuit of godly friendship.
