So you’ve decided to make a lifestyle change. If you take a look back here and you can get an idea of how to get started and some basic guidelines to follow when starting out. I wrote quite a bit about a list of why you want to lose weight and referring back to that list when things get tough, but I didn’t go into detail on goal setting. I’m going to share from my personal journeys with weight loss, yes I had more than one. It’s taken me over a decade to get where I am able to maintain weight loss in a healthy and sustainable way. I made a ton of mistakes along the past 10+ years so I’m sharing those in hopes you can avoid them.
- Don’t focus on numbers
When I first started diet and exercise, I obsessed over the scale. I weighed myself at least once a day and sometimes more. This is such an unhealthy place to be in mentally. I tied my self worth to a number on a scale and I let it dictate my mood every day. Really, you don’t need a scale at all. That’s right. Throw it out. Here’s what I’ve found. Two people can both weigh 150 lbs and look completely different. A healthy weight for you can’t be something you’ve pulled out of thin air because the number makes you feel good. So, DO NOT write “I want to loose X number of lbs in X number of days.”
The second side of that is clothing sizes. As you lose weight, you will inevitably start dropping sizes. At one point I realized my unhealthy relationship with the scale and decided to focus on clothing sizes instead. Really you’re just trading one bad habit for another. Again, clothing fits everyone differently and a size 10 in one store is going to be totally different than a size 10 in another. This leads to another method of applying a number to your self worth that will wear you down through your weight loss journey.
- Don’t set an end date
Here’s one I learned the hard way. When you set an end date your mind tells you you just have to live this way for a little while and then it’s over. Back to life as it was before and you’ll look and feel awesome and get to eat whatever you want again. Oh how I wish this were true. You’ll celebrate your end date and all the hard work. You’ll buy a new wardrobe and have fun going out and showing it off and three months later you’ll realize you’ve gained it all back. Notice I used the phrase lifestyle change at the beginning of this post. It’s really true. You’ve got to commit to a healthier way of living if you want to keep the weight off.
- Don’t go too far too fast
When I first tried dieting and exercise and saw success, I went ALL IN. I was counting calories and keeping it to about 1200 a day plus going to the gym and doing cardio every day without fail. This led to some major burn out. I couldn’t wait to reach my goal size so I could stop that madness. As you can guess from my advice above…..I wasn’t successful long term.
- Don’t tie yourself to goals that are unachievable
I’m in several diet groups on Facebook. At least once a week, I will see someone post “I have to lose 30 lbs in a month. Can I do it?????” And without fail there will be comment after comment telling this person that she can. I always scream internally and scroll on. This is SUCH an unhealthy place to be. Losing 30 lbs in 4 weeks is not achievable in a healthy way and again, tying your self worth to a number is playing a mental game sure to set you up for disappointment.
So…..what goals should you set?
A couple of months back, I sat in a teacher training where the speaker spoke on expectations versus expectancy. It was such a great training and can be applied to lifestyle change.
Expectations: a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future, typically by a certain date..
Expectancy: the state of thinking or hoping that something, especially something pleasant, will happen or be the case.
These two definitions are very similar, but there is slight difference in mindset. When we set a list of expectations, our goal is to fulfill the list or be disappointed when we fall short. When we live life expectant, we are in a mindset that the choices we make in our day to day are for good and in turn good things will happen.
How does this tie into dieting goals? When we make a checklist of things we want to accomplish, we tend to tie a lot of our self worth into accomplishing those goals. We are crushed when a month goes by and we didn’t lose 30 lbs so might as well give up and eat a cheeseburger right? This leads to an unhealthy mental relationship with your body and your lifestyle. So let’s make a little shift. Let’s decide to be expectant. You’ve made your list of why’s, you’ve decided a lifestyle change is what you want. So take it one day at a time. Wake up expectant knowing that you will make good choices and in turn, over time, your body will start to change. You’ll have more energy. You’ll get better sleep. Your skin will clear up. All of these things will come from you! Your hard work, and the lack of you beating yourself up when maybe you didn’t have the best day. Reward yourself for your good choices rather than beating yourself up for your failures.
We all have a pretty good idea what it takes to be healthy. Lifestyle change is 90% mental and 10% everything else. You have to free yourself of the cycle of beating yourself up when you diet for 30 days and don’t look like your favorite Insta Celeb. Make good choices. One day at a time. Let go of the numbers. Let go of the end date. Let go of goals that aren’t realistic. Remember the list I had you write? I’m gonna let you keep that, but that’s all you need. Remember WHY you are making these choices and take it easy on yourself. It takes time to put weight and unhealthy choices into practice, it’s going to take time to reverse them. You CAN do this!
