Praying For Our Friends
By Sarah N.
We all probably already know why to pray for our friends: they’re experiencing something difficult physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc; they’re preparing for something difficult; they just need general encouragement, peace, patience, etc; or any other myriad of reasons.
But just knowing why we pray for our friends doesn’t always make it simple to know what to pray for them. It’s easy to tell our friends, “I’m praying for you!” But how do we put those promises into practice? Just having good intentions is not the same thing as actually lifting them up in earnest prayer. And don’t our friends deserve more than good intentions?
How to pray for our friends
There are many verses about prayer, but here is a sampling that helps us learn practical ways that we can pray for our friends:
Humbly Devoted: Matthew 6:6 tells us, “But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father…” This does not mean we have to spend hours a day in our “War Room” prayer closet, but it does show us that prayer should be more than quick “thought-prayers” throughout the day. When we pray for our friends’ needs, we should devote specific time and attention to those prayers, ridding ourselves of distraction as much as possible. It also means that we should not pray “like the hypocrites” (Matthew 6:5), pridefully making our prayers public just to boast in our fabulous prayer lives. We must honor the privacy of our friends, and honor the special time of connection with our God.
Confidently Reverent: Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” “Drawing near” to the throne implies a necessary reverence for Who is on that throne, but we can be confident when we do this because Jesus secured that privilege for us when he became the sacrifice that satisfied our sin-debt to God. We can boldly present our requests to the Holy King without fear of shame or punishment. So, when we pray for our friends, let’s remember that we pray to a mighty King who mercifully helps us in our time of need.
Joyfully Submitted: 1 John 5:14 says, “and this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us.” Just praying to God doesn’t mean we will get whatever we want. Scripture is very clear that we must ask “according to His will.” Even Christ prayed “Your will be done” (Matthew 6:10) and “not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). We won’t always know what His will is (Isaiah 55:8), so this doesn’t mean we have to know His will just to pray to Him. It does mean that we have to be open to His will being the answer we may not think we want. So when we pray for our friends, we must pray for God’s will, not our will, to be done in their lives. This should give us a joyful freedom knowing that we don’t have the responsibility of fixing our friends’ problems. God is in control. “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?” (Jeremiah 32:27)
What to pray for our friends
Sometimes praying for our friends is difficult because we don’t know what to say. Be comforted, though. Jesus said in Matthew 6:8b, “for your father knows what you need before you ask Him.” We don’t need to stress over having the right words, or enough words when we pray. The verses following verse 8 are known as “The Lord’s Prayer” and were spoken by Jesus when he was teaching his disciples the best way to pray. This passage is a wonderful model of a prayer for us, but there are many more examples of prayer throughout scripture.
It’s always a good idea to look to scripture, especially when we feel that we don’t have adequate words, or even when we just need ideas for what to pray. Below, you will find some of the Apostle Paul’s prayers for his friends in the churches as recorded in his Epistles. I find it helpful to simply replace all of the “you’s” with my friends’ names.
Unity: Romans 15:5-6 “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Joy and Peace: Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Strength: 1 Corinthians 1:4-9 “I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way— in all your speaking and in all your knowledge— because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.”
Grace: 1 Corinthians 16:23 “The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you.”
Wisdom, Hope, and God’s Power: Ephesians 1:15-23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Power and Love: Ephesians 3:14-21 “For this reason, I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts and through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge— that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”
Discernment: Philippians 1:9-11 “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ— to the glory and praise of God.”
Wisdom, Endurance, Patience, Joy: Colossians 1:9-14 “…we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have forgiveness of sins.”
Holiness: 1 Thessalonians 3:12-13 “and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.”
Sanctification: 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 “May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, souls and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.
Encouragement and Strength: 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 “May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”
Peace: 2 Thessalonians 3:16 “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.”
Witness: Philemon 4-7 “I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints. I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother[/sister], have refreshed the hearts of the saints.”
These verses are a great starting point for what we can pray for our friends, but if you want help with more prayers derived from scripture, especially for friends who are experiencing hard times, I recommend a book by Nancy Guthrie called “I’m Praying For You: 40 Days of Praying the Bible for Someone Who is Suffering”. This book has 40 stand-alone chapters, each with different prayers derived from specific scriptures. For example, “I’m praying for you to be healthy in body and strong in spirit (3 John 1-4)” and “I’m praying for you to trust the Lord for your security (Psalm 125:1-2).” This is a fantastic resource for when we just can’t find the words to pray.
The chapter titles in Nancy’s book are worded this way (I’m praying for you to…) because it is incredibly important that we remember to tell our friends exactly what we have been praying for them. I know from experience that I feel much more comforted when my friends tell me how and what they’ve prayed for me instead of just that they’ve prayed for me. Going through hard times can feel very isolating, so what better companion than a friend who prays the word of God over us?
There is no way I could condense everything the scriptures have to teach us about prayer into one blog post, but to summarize some of what I have learned: It is important that we are devoted to praying God’s will reverently and confidently over our friends. God’s will is found in the Bible, so letting scripture guide our prayers is beneficial for not only our friends, but also for us as individuals. And always, “to God be the glory forever and ever, Amen.” (Galatians 1:5)
